Monday, December 27, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
I am going to be a busy, busy bee this week ! Still have leftover SAT classes on Monday & Wednesday, Janice is kidnapping me for a sister day on Tuesday, tech rehearsal + mini practice on Wednesday, then Christmas concerts on Thursday & Friday ! ^____^ Next week's 4 1/2 days, then winter break. HOEIHOEIHOIE December is going to be bueno for meeeee. (:
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
- I can't stand all the talking during choir - the class or the practices. All the little murmurs & comments about every little fucking thing bugs the shit outta me & I just wanna slap everyone. I mean, I love my girls, don't get me wrong, but there are times where I just want to let them know what they signed up for. This is ADVANCED; we know wsup. We set the example & we shouldn't be known for talking all the damn time. I feel a Vanessa-speech comin' up. I swear to God, I'm gonna lay it on these girls.
- A year ago from today, I was the happiest bitch alive. Best day of my life, pretty much. Sucks how I can't get it off my mind & it's been eating me all day. Funny how things can change in a year, isn't it ?
- COLLEGE APPS. 'Nuff said. Shit takes waaay too long to finish. Senior Profile's due in two days & I'm still not done. And I have the fear that I'm not going to make it into any of the colleges that I'm applying for. Fuck it, I'm gonna drop outta high school & just marry rich.
- SAT scores come out tonight. At 2 fucking AM. Who the hell sends out scores at 2 in the morning !? Ya dunce, kids should be asleep by then. -______________- All I'm asking for is higher than 1800. Please be good to meeee.
- SAT2s next weekend. Haaaaaaaaaah, Literature & Spanish. I haven't studied at all for them & they're probably gonna eat me alive, tambien.
- I'm still fucking pissed after what you did. I really don't understand why you do the things you do. Thanks for playing with my fucking heart, you idiot. It's a wonder why I still keep you close as fuck & have all these bipolar ass feelings toward you.
Monday, October 25, 2010
And on top of that, shit's changed. Hahaha, I knew it was too good to be true. I can't deal with all this shit at the same time, so I'm done. For now, at least. I'll get back to you after all this college stress is done with. Cuhs for once in my life, I'm actually putting you aside & boy, does it feel buenoooo.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Making it a mission to put up my tree sometime this week ! I've already started playing Frank Sinatra's Christmas CD around the house & I have my own playlist on iTunes goin' on in case Jonathan decides to blast his stupid kpop. Heeeeehehehehe. & DISNEYLAND ! Apparently Eric Lin can get into Disneyland for free & he promised he'd take me & a buncha other people. HEHEHAHAHOHO. God, I'm so excited. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
- Based on a psychological study, a crush only lasts for a maximum of 4 months. If it exceeds, you are already in love. ← Hahahahahahahaha. Well then.
- Looking through everyone's HC albums on Facebook had me QQ-ing all over the place. Yeah, I know. I'm pretty fucking pathetic. ): But whatever, at least I'm not suffering from sore thighs ! ^__^
- SAT1s are over ! Yessss, I'm so happy. But I have Math 2C & Spanish in a month. Meh. I'm not trippin' yet. Watch it hit me super duper hard outta nowhere in a week.
- I love nice, anonymous formspring-ers. The ones that tell me I'm beautiful or just little phrases of encouragement. They honestly make my shit days better & it really puts a smile on my face. I'd gotten so sick of all the perverted, immature ones & the change is nice !
- I miss you. Haaaaaaaaaaah. It's almost been a year ! I went through all the pictures I got from people last year & I tried to avoid yours, but it stuck out like a white person in Chinatown. And I'm lowkey hoping you're the one writing cute shit on my FS, but then again, I highkey doubt it. Wompwomp. Please reappear into my life again. ):
- Choir's going goudaaaa ! The talking still bugs the shit outta me, but the girls are starting to grow on me. Can I just say we're gonna be SUPERIOR this year ?! Fall concert was super bueno. Thanks to all the Marquis people that said we blended well & sounded strong. (:
- I'm going on another nail polish diet. From next week to January ? But it'll probably be during competition season, too. So... maybe after May ? Oh, sweet Jesus. How will I survive. ):
- Mad cravin' Boiling Crab's cajun fries. & Bdubs' chicken waaaaangs.
- I can't believe you went to HC with her. HAHAHAHA. Even though you said you didn't have fun, I kinda think you did. Haaaaah, whatever ! I'm trying really hard to step back, but memories just keep flooding into my head, 'naw what I mean ? Shit sucks & I really wonder if I meant anything to you at one point.
- Fuck all my AP classes up the butt. ): They take up so much time & I'm pretty much failing both classes. Asdfghjkl;' !
Thursday, October 7, 2010
PFFT, YEAH RIGHT. Who the hell am I tryna kid. -________-
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Your damsel-in-distress bullshit has crossed the line. Honestly, you're fucking pathetic. And you're nothing without me, so good luck. You do realize your other "friends" are just as shady as what you described me; hitting the same person up, acting as if the shit between you two never happened. HAHA, whatever. I'm down to stand by the sidelines watching life fuck you over. (; In all honesty though, thanks. You made me realize that I don't need pathetic, clingy bitches like you to tie me down. Hehehe, walk outta my life; I'm not gonna stop you.
Oh, and you're so cool for being able to hang up on me. I wanna be just like you. Shows how much balls you have, huh ?
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Random thoughts on my mind:
- I can’t even bring myself to rant about you anymore. You’ve just crossed my line of respect, so I’m done. Talk shit, get hit. That's all I gotta say to you.
- HOMECOMING. I want someone to ask me. ): But that's not gonna happen, so should I just go stag ? Should I not go at all ? QQ, man. QQ.
- It hasn't hit me that college apps are due soon. Or that I have SATs coming up. HAHA. I'm too laid back & that shit needs to change. I fucked up last year, so there's no way in hell I'm gonna be able to get into the colleges I wanna get into. Too many expectations from my parents are pissing me off, too. Bitches needa let me live my own life.
- I miss the summer. The people I shared it with, the places I went, the wonderful weather, the shit that always kept me up, & just all the memories.
- Fall concert's coming up ! Then Christmas concert, and then show choir season. My God, senior year's going by waaay too fast. I'm not ready to leave high school yet. Which is weird, seeing how I'd kill to leave DB.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I'm not trying to get at him. He's Asian. You know me better than that - I don't try to get at Asian boys. He's shorter than me. You know height is one of the top things I look for in a guy. He knows too many girls. I know better than to try to get at a guy who knows a buncha girls. Just because I hang out with him doesn't mean I like him. I have more guy friends than girls. It's just the way I am. I feel more comfortable with guys cuhs I'm always so fucking DGAF about dumb shit like this. You know I don't like kickin' it with all these girls cuhs girls bring so much drama with them wherever they go. I thought you were gonna be drama free, but I guess not. And just cuhs I have a bunch of guy friends doesn't mean I'm trying to get at each one of them. -___-
Stop saying how fucking shady I'm being when your bitch ass is the one talking shit behind mine. Thanks for going to MY best friend, telling him all this BS about me. I didn't do anything wrong. My bad for not wanting to take sides. My bad for trying to be the middle person & trying to straighten things out between both of you. My fucking bad for not wanting to lose 2 good friends over a dumb subject like this. But honestly, you need to get the fuck over him. It's gotten to a point where it's ruining your sleeping patterns, your friendships, & your trust. You still call me your best friend, yet you can't trust me kickin' it with him every once in a while ? He's my friend - I'm not just gonna blow him off like that. You know I always guilt trip him about what he did to you & what he's doing now. You know I'm doing all of this for your benefit. Yet you still feel the need to call me as "shady as the bitch I talk about".
& YOU. Thanks for just believing her right off the fucking bat. Thanks for not even bothering to talk to me & just assuming that whatever the fuck she says is true. Thanks for being such a dick lately. You had all this shit with her earlier last year. I'd think you'd know better than to trust her. It lowkey hurts how you'd just believe her like that without coming to me to ask to hear my side of the story. Nice to know how I'm not your "best friend" anymore. Haaaaah. I should've known you'd always pick her over me. Shit's fucking ridiculous. It hurts. Really. I don't let shit get to me that often, but my God. This shit is fucking ridiculous. You know I let my guard down with you. Please stop taking advantage of it.
I used to be so fucking DGAF about everything. I put this shit off since the fucking summer. But today it just blew me over the top. I need to set my fucking priorities straight & not let dumb shit like this get to me. It's my fucking senior year. I'm trying to get through this year as swiftly & drama-free as possible and you're not really helping. I need to start giving a fuck every once in a while or else I'm just gonna bottle all this shit up & blow up like a fucking volcano outta nowhere.
Friday, September 3, 2010
- I don't appreciate you saying I was the one who lied to you when you're being shady as fuck right now. Telling people you know I'm close to what I did ? You deliberately twisted my words around, & now you're going behind my back spreading shit. And you call me one of your best friends, pfffffft.
- One day, you're gonna realize that I'm not gonna be there for you. Stop feeling the need to depend on me all the time cuhs I'm already starting to bail out on you. I feel like you take me for granted & you don't care about anything else. The world doesn't revolve around you. Please stop thinking it does.
- I can't believe you'd even listen to #1 up there. Or ask a simple question as that. You know who I am - honestly, I feel like you know me better than myself. And it hurts to know that you'd believe someone that you had shit with before over me. What happened to always being there for me, always sticking up for me, always down to choosing me ?
- I'm really sorry I bailed on you today. I pulled a #2 & I regret it sososososo much. And I know you said "It's okay" & everything, but I still feel horrible. You're always down to listen to whatever bullshit I have to say & you're there for me. I shouldn't feel the need to blow you off for some dumb bitch. I'm sorry & I loooove you. ♥
- Talking about you last night made me miss you more than ever. You're gone now; I didn't even get a chance to fix whatever happened between us or say bye. I stare at your screen name every time you sign on, hoping you'd IM me, which is pretty pathetic seeing how I apparently don't have the balls to initiate a conversation.
- I'm so done with your bullshit, really. It's gotten to an extent where I just drown your voice out with whatever I can get. You don't own me, you're not me. Stop trying to live my life. Don't talk shit about my friends in front of my fucking face without expecting me to blow the fuck up on you. Put me on blast & I'll put you on blast.
- Stop assuming shit. You don't know the shit I go through every day, yet you always expect the worst out of me. Back the fuck off; my life was never yours to take over. Let me live it for myself. If I fuck up, then I fuck up. Big damn deal - I'll just learn from each mistake. How do you honestly expect me to grow up if you won't let me ?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
God, look at me. All optimistic & shit. Whatta first !
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Vivian - You better keep your promise & keep at LEAST every other Saturday open for me & Karen. I can't believe you're leaving me for Irvine. ): Hehehe, waaaahb you !
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Oh, how I love a good hand-holding sesh. (: ♥
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
This has got to stop. I feel like your puppet because you're always manipulating my emotions. You either make me happy or you make me feel like shit. You're like another youknowho; I shouldn't put up with you and I shouldn't care. But I can't help but to care. You keep making all these promises - that you'll always be there for me, that you'd put everything aside just for me, that you'd put up with me through thick & thin. But you keep letting me down. You keep making these promises that you end up breaking. And then you find a way to come back. You make spontaneous phone calls that I pick up, knowing I shouldn't. But I do anyway, because my dumb ass is always hoping it would bring an end to all the make-me-feel-like-shits. Biggest SIKE of life or whaaat. I don't want anything to do with you and I want everything to do with you. I want to deck you in the face and I want you to give me a bear hug like you used to. I want to stop talking to you for once & for all and I want to stay up talking to you, even though we're both so damn tired.
What makes me even more mad is that I have no right to be mad. Haaaah. You're not my boyfriend; you don't have to do all that cute shit with me. So honestly, why the hell do I care ? Because I sure as hell don't have a crush on you. Not even a leeeeeedo, teeeeensy, tiny one. Or do I ? I guess I kind of do, because honestly, why else would I be hung over all of this ? You make me feel like an insignificant piece of shit; an option when I make you a priority. I can't say I'm "done", because we both know I'm not. I'm going to keep wanting to make this friendship work, with or without that little crush, because a friendship is probably the only relationship we'll have. But it's all good, because I honestly couldn't ask for anything better.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
haaaaah, one last post on this douchebag & i'm done.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
i hate how she wouldn't stop taking pictures of him.
i hate that i don't talk to him as much.
i hate how i've been thinking of his dumb ass this whole fucking week.
i hate all toy story shit.
i hate how i can't be a bitch to her.
i hate how she can still get guys when she's so fat & ugly.
i hate how every time i saw him looking at her, i wished he was looking at me.
i hate how i'm still hung over this douchebag.
i hate that he's going so far for college.
i hate how i'm never gonna let go of this one small thing.
i hate how i almost cried thinking about him.
i hate how this post & the previous 2 have his name written all over them.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
an hour phone call so far with eric & i've almost pissed in my pants. -____- i can't believe the basis of our conversation is neopets of all things. HAHAHA, good shit. he still remembers every little thing apparently - from prices to all the little map names. how pathetic.
SIKE, cuhs neopets is the only thing i'm on these days ! this week was supposed to be super busy but everyone ended up bailing on me. ): so all i've been doing is eating, sleeping, & going on the computer. tumblr's being a little bitch all the time, making me go back to neopets. i got nicole & lea back on (^____^) & we have yet to make a playdate where we can just neo-sesh all day. oh god, call us pathetic.
i have preethi's graduation party to go to in a couple of hours. it's 4am. oh god, what is this world coming to. earlier this week, i watched the sun fucking rise. -__- eric made me stay up with him to watch a movie & it took us forever to finally decide on 10 things i hate about you. (oh heath ledger, how i miss you ! ♥) so i ended up sleeping at 5:30. pfft, might as well have pulled an all nighter. sike. but i did end up waking up at 2pm. haaah. yesterday i stayed up watching the hangover cuhs i'm done with the big bang theory. oh how i miss sheldon's BAZINGAs. i feel like such an insomniac. or like a bat. i'm nocturnal !
yknow, i really love blogger. even though no one reads, or even bothers to check, this site anymore, i feel like i have a more privacy-type blog on this. everyone's hopping onto the bandwagon & making a tumblr now and i feel like i can't post personal shit on it anymore. so i'm coming back to blogger, but only to post journal-type blogs. cuhs xanga ain't really workin' out for me either. -___-
womp. vivian's not responding to my ims & eric just fell asleep on me. i guess it's a sign i should go to bed. this weekend is going to be an adventure ! target with takeuchi at 1, gabbie's house to make preethi's graduation present, getting ready at 4, then preethi's graduation party ! one last solitaire moment cuhs we're gonna sing our AWK-apella ♥ ♥ ♥ i gotta wake up at 6:30 on saturday to bake shana's cookies, then go to her house at 10 to get to the beach for her birthday. (: sunday is apparently canceled, but i was supposed to have a pokemon marathon with eric lin. loser bailed on me AGAIN. douchebag. anyways, yeah. i'm tired. goodnight.
oh ps - RIP michael jackson. i still can't believe you're not alive anymore. ):
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
sweetest thing a person's ever said to me. (: I LOVE YOU GABRIELLA CAROLINA HERNANDEZ CLEMENTE ! & your ridiculously long name that only i seem to be able to remember. (;
Saturday, June 12, 2010
- seeing you at graduation was the best start to my summer. i saw you, took a picture with you. you hugged me & held me like you always did, and we talked & cleared everything up. we stayed up talking that night, as well as the following nights. you kept me up at night when i wanted to sleep all the time. and for once, i felt that we were back to where we started. but now we're drifting again. WHY !? ): i hate how this always happens to us. it's such an on & off cycle and it bugs it shit out of me. buuuut, whatever. we'll give it a couple of days & it should be back to normal.
- HI, I MISS YOU. GET YOUR ASS BACK FROM VIETNAM, PLEASE. I'M IN NEED OF MORE ADVENTURES. ♥
- thanks for being there for me all the freaking time. you put up with my bullshit, bitchiness, & major mood swings. who says a girl can't have a guy best friend without developing any feelings for them ? i lovelovelove you & am excited for senior year cuhs we better get a class togetherrrr ! (:
- i'm still bugged about what you did earlier this year. plus the fact that you're going to his graduation while you swear you have no feelings whatsoever for him. whaaatever, bitch. i can't say i'm over it, because it still bugs me. the fact that you knew how much i liked him (& how every small thing reminds me of him), yet you still chill & talk to him as if he had nothing to do with me. boo, you whore.
- BLAH, you're really starting to irritate me. hahahah, whatever.
- i wish you'd die. really, i do. words cannot explain how much i hate you.
- i love how close we've gotten since the beginning of summer ! i thought you were a homewrecking bitch, but you're so much more than that (: i love that we can talk about everything & everyone. and now that our parents have rekindled their friendships, we can chill all day, err day ! hehehe ♥
- OHHEEEEEY. you were the last boy i would think i'd have interest in. i have a feeling it's just cuhs #7 up there mentioned it slightly, buuut whatevs ! YOU'RE SO SMART. it's really intimidating. and you're graduating in a couple of days & going up to norcal, sooo i don't think anything's gonna happen. and even though we're not that close, we better hang out before you leaveeee ! (:
Thursday, June 10, 2010
no summer school, either. yeeeee. ^_^
oh, & i'm diggin' the whole template stuff. (: sucks how no one uses this anymore though. boo.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
i find you a prom date & you repay me by telling someone not to ask me because “no one can handle me, which is why i haven’t been asked to any dances” ? JUST BECAUSE I HAVE BIGGER BALLS THAN YOU DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T BE HANDLED.
ps; stop smoking and saying you “went out to go play pool”. you suck at lying, douchebaaag. and you wonder why i hate telling people you're my brother. -___-
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
practice tomorrow from 10-12, then massive hw cramming time. -__-
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
yay for waking up at noon everyday.
yay for conversations with eric & occasionally evelyn that keep me up.
YAY FOR SPRING BREAAAAK. ^____^
on a side note though -
WHO do you think you are. honey, you need to calm down. you're just a freshman, the bottom of the food chain. don't think you can hit on "upperclassmen" whenever you feel like it. oh, & by the way, sophomores are not really upperclassmen. & stop trying to BE everyone, you stupid jocker. you say stupid shit like "i'm the biggest bitch" & "i bite (=", OH MY GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME. 1) sorry, the 'biggest bitch' title goes to me. & 2) stfu & bite my nonexistent dick. GG for losing those traffic papers during GNO & making the buses drive around the parking lot for the longest time. WAY TO GIVE OUR SCHOOL A GOOD NAME. blogging about you is making my head pound even more, so whatever. ugh, can i just slap you the next time i see you. -_-
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
FINALLY cleared errthang up. 14 minute phone call isn't as good as a 3 hour one, but it's better than nothing ! (: my registration card's due tomorrow. five classes ! english, civics/econ, ap calc, ap spanish, & choir. should i take 0-4 or 1-5 ? ugh, i wish i had my license. then it'd be easier to decide, 'naw what i meaaaan ? -__- eric wants me to TA for bromberg with him, buuuut i don't know bromberg ! HAHAHA. booo, idk. we'll see.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
stalin & aimee need to gtfo everyone's backs about prioritizing. i'm sorry that we actually WANT to go to a good college instead of taking a mt. sac placement test like your dumb bimbo ass did. we're not going to try to pursue a career based on choir, so let us do our own shit. stop giving the girls such a hard time when you were the one who told us we weren't even gonna go to hart. and MY ASS breitag assigned a hugeass essay for one girl who missed a competition. stop pulling shit outta your ass to try to get the girls to show up. your fault for signing us up for a competition the week OF spring break. sorry, but some of us have lives outside of show choir. advanced, pffffft.
oh, & for awkward, serious family pictures, did we not make it clear enough for you that we only wanted like, 6 of the girls in it ? and GG for opening your big ass mouth & making a silly face. AWKWARD. SERIOUS. what part of that do you not get ? maybe it's from all that dick you've been sucking. which is another thing, please don't make us share gross shit like that ever again. i'm sorry that you're so frickin' horny all the time, but really, it's gross. ugh.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
you're paaaathetic ! do you seriously have to make a fake facebook to stand up for yourself ? i should probably be the last person to rant about you, but i have my reasons. seventh grade, remember ? haaaaah. you were so ridiculously fake & you knew a couple of us hated you. i love that you put on this image that you're such a tough person & you know how to handle your shit, but when confronted, all you do is shrug it off & deny every little thing. and today i hear that you made a face facebook ? oh maaaan, you definitely win the MOST PATHETIC award. i don't understand why you even have friends - you're the biggest pussy i know. you walk around getting pissed when people say the smallest things about you, yet you're the one who talks all the shit. it's amazing how long your friendships last. you call everyone your fucking best friend & walk around with your fat ass all up in the air thinking you're so damn hot & you're the shit. you rely so much on other people; i can't wait till all your "friends" realize all the shit you've put them through & finally turn their backs on you. let's see you stand up for yourself for once & show us all what a tough bitch you are. oh wait, you're not.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
anyways, woke up at 6:45 to get dressed & stuff. takeuchi picked me up at 7:30 & we got to school at 7:45 ish. stupid stalin wasn't even there. little miss "we need all the time we can get, so please come 15 minutes earlier !" -___- AND, she came in her PAJAMAS. really, now ? even diamondaires came dressed, AND on time. and she was like "i prefer you guys curl your hair." & she didn't even curl her's. oh, one more thing - what happened to "let's practice not fidgeting, okay girls ?" PFFT. she wouldn't stop messing with her hair while she was MC-ing. anyways, some of the diamondaires girls piss me off. yknow that one asian quote "the more you help, the more trouble you cause" ? YES. OMG, I NOW UNDERSTAND IT ! ugh, please don't do solitaire next year cuhs i'm not gonna be able to handle you. -___- brea's intermediate got first, then walnut, burroughs, and i forgot the rest. my feet started hurting like a bitch & the judges didn't need anything, so i was good. HAHA. they were SO cute ! old little white grandpas ♥ oh, i got super pissed that we didn't perform first session, cuhs she didn't tell us we weren't, and i changed & shit. do you know how hard it is to take my dress off !? SHAYSH. uh, couldn't make a starbucks run cuhs stalin only gave us 15 minutes for lunch. buuuut, i got a free chili cheese dog & ginger ale. (: watched arcadia's show, then went backstage to change cuhs we were actually GONNA perform. (btw, thanks for making us perform after the advanced & not the intermediate. we would have looked SO bombskeez after intermediate since we're advanced, but nooooo. you had to make us perform after BURROUGHS. -___-) chilled backstage with chihmin & takeuchi while watching brea. cried during the one solo, as always, and helped a couple o' girls change. dang, i didn't know all their shit was velcro ! hahaha, i felt like a dumbass cuhs i was like "uh, idk how to put this on" & this girl was like "it's okay, it doesn't have to be perfect." eh, she didn't seem snobby, so i'm all good with brea. helped a burroughs girl too; btw, they don't seem so good backstage. like, they don't sound as good & look as good. but maybe it's cuhs i was backstage. their blinding dresses, fog machine, all that jazz was still good. typical, they got first, then brea, then arcadia. chilled in the choir room afterwards with a buncha girls. omg, i left out so much details, but it's not like anyone reads this, so vhaaatevs. i can't really post half this shit on tumblr cuhs stalin reads my shit now. sigh. this sucks balls. anyways, i'm glad today's done. gahd, it was so tiring. and i think i got more sick. -____-
Thursday, March 18, 2010
FRI; it's a friday. need i say more ?
combined basic, yaaaaay !!
SAT; girls night out (8am - 6pm)
dinner with the girls (?)
SUN; church @ VOH
dinner with auntie from oklahoma !
oh, & i found out we're going to SOCAL after all (:
APR 16 - 18 ; saaaan diego ! ♥
Monday, March 15, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
woke up at 6:30 today; got to school at 7:20. breitag wasn't even there so errbody sat outside for like, 45 minutes. alexis curled half of my hurr in the band room, but then we had to get on the bus. I SAW MY BURBANK BOY, OMG OMG OMG OMG ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ i love him. i'm going to have beautiful asian children with him. ODJAOGIUAODFJ. (: los al had supaa cute boys too ! burroughs men got third & MY BURBANK BOY GOT FIRRRRST, YAYAYAY ! sigh. i love him. one of the burbank boys came up to me, hoochie, & shanaynay and said we were the most attractive womens choir. yeee, wsup ! i kinda wish it was my boy, but whaaatevs. hehehe. "hope we see you again !" HAHAH. uhm, oh, we got fifth. but at least we placed ! three girls were missing & stalin + breitag were getting so pissed, but whatever. there are times where school comes before choir, and today called for it. it's not like they're gonna pursue a choir dream or whateves. sats are waaay more important than a competition YOU told us we weren't even going to. -_________- bus ride home was SO FUN. i frickin' love meghan. hahah, "HE'LL GET STUCK, HE'LL GET STUCK !" oh maaan. i don't think i've ever laughed so hard in my life with her. i've decided to stay in solitaire while EVERYONE ELSE IS LEAVING ME FOR MARQUIS, cuhs i can't leave gabbie all alone. ): i'm excited for next week, we're HOSTINGGGGG (:
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
you said this to me last year, back when we were still friends & i went to you for every single little (and big) thing. i miss you like crazy & tend to re-read this conversation over & over again on days like this. it makes me cry every time i read it. maybe it was because you were so damn sweet, or because we don't talk anymore. every time i hear someone say the whole "fish in the sea" thing, the first thing i think of is you. i really wish things were different with us. you have no idea how much you meant to me & it pisses me off that i don't know why i can't bring myself to talk to you again. you read me like the back of your hand & i always wondered how you had that sixth sense of knowing when i was down. i really want to just sit with you for hours & talk like how we used to last year. i miss you. really.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
i need more throwbacks, so here you go. not that anyone reads this anymore, but if you are, try & guess who you are. unless you're not in here, haaaah.
1. i love the smell your jackets rub off on me whenever i wear them, your smile, your sixth sense of knowing whenever something's up, your hair, your laugh, your arms whenever they’re around me, the small & ridiculous things you do to make me laugh, your voice, the fact that you actually keep your promises, your hugs, that you’re always down to talk, your perfect height, the songs you listen to, when you call me, our pointless conversations, when you grab me by the neck/waist/arm, how you know when to talk or when to shut up, when you catch me staring, your remarks, your sarcasm, walking with you, & you in general. well. i don't think it's love right now, but lowkey, you're all i think about now. i wish you weren't cuhs you're occupying 165418% of my thoughts & i can't focus on anything else, really.
2. lately, i've been so frickin' annoyed with you. i told you i'd always be here for you, but you know better than to ask me for things that i can't give you. the mistakes you are making lately are really bugging me, cuhs you always come complaining about them to me when i told you not to do it in the first place. i don't know. maybe it's just cuhs i'm on my period & i'm easily irritated. give me a week & hopefully, things will go back to normal.
3. i hate that i'm so fake with you. there are so many things i need to confront you about, but i just can't bring myself to. you've hit my most sensitive spot, well. what was, & i still can't bring myself to forgive you for it.
4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. i hate your guts. you & your dictatorship can suck my nonexistant dick. you have made choir suck ass for me this year, & now i'm questioning whether i should do it next year. i can't wait till this year is over & you're finally out of my life. i hope you don't come visit next year, cuhs you're not getting any hugs like kayla. i love that you're so oblivious of all the hatred that's vibed (is that a word ? hahahah.) towards you during class & practice. whatever, more fun for us, haaaah.
5. it's still awkward whenever i see you, but honestly, i wouldn't have it any other way. i'm glad that i finally moved on cuhs you were a waste of a couple of months. i have to admit though, there were times when it was pretty worth it. but if i were to weigh things out, i'd say i'm happier without you. you can go do things with #3 behind my back now, & i promise you, when i find out, i won't trip balls over it anymore. (:
6. i miss you. so so so so much. i see you sometimes during passing period & i get flashbacks of freshman & sophomore year with you. you were seriously one of the best friends i ever had. i really hate that you're hanging out with that group now. you tell me you miss me & we need a day to catch up & chill, and i'm seriously waiting for that day. re-enter my life now, pleaaaase. ):
7. you're on my binder now. i see you EVERYDAY during passing, and i know you see me too. sometimes i wonder how things would be if we didn't stop talking. i still don't understand why we stopped, but maybe it was for the better ? idk, that's what i'm telling myself. i miss the feeling of needing to talk to you whenever i don't feel like talking to anyone else. sometimes i re-read our long conversations & your hilarious comments, and they still bring a smile to my face.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
well first off. two competitions next week - brea olinda & hart encore. stalin's still the same ol' bitch that she is. i really can't wait till she graduates & i don't have to put up with her anymore. dumb bitch told us we didn't have to go to hart, so a couple of the girls scheduled their sats on that day. and yesterday, apparently she told us we were going & she blames them for scheduling it on the 13th. she swears like we're her fucking minions. i told karen, christine, & jane to just take their goddamn sats. they paid almost $50 for that, and stalin wants them to just throw it away for some fucking competition that we're not even gonna place at ? uhm, haaailz no. i joined solitaire this year because after i watched the spring concert last year, i wanted to be a part of that "family". as cheesy as that sounds, those girls were amazing. i used to look forward to choir in the beginning of the year. but now, i can't stand even being outside of it during passing period. i sit outside with eric & alexis until the bell fucking rings for a reason. every second i'm not inside the choir room is heaven. the happy vibe isn't in there anymore. solitaire has divided into little cliques of their own & there are some girls that i don't even know. we have so many goddamn dictators & every single practice seems like bootcamp. really, you're not gonna let us perform that week if we're late to practice ? what kind of a fucking punishment is that. yeah, i can't even fucking go on. i'm so pissed that i can't even rant about choir anymore.
second, i really think i'm gonna start my period soon cuhs i've just been the most cynical bitch ever. i want to snap at everyone and i've just been getting so damn annoyed lately. all i've been doing is cranking up my music to maximum level so it drowns out everything. everytime someone talks to me in this goddamn house, i just interrupt them & tell them to shut the fuck up. which kinda fucks me over cuhs they're like "excuse me ?" but. idk. haaah, i just wanna give the world the biggest slap ever, then sleep. fat lazy fuck ? yuhp.
haaaah, i'm just rambling on & on & on, aren't i ? it's 10:30. i should sleep. bye for now, oh lovely blog of mine.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
somebody who can be there when i need someone to talk to.
i'm looking for someone who won't pretend,
somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you.
and i'm looking for someone who understands
how i feel, someone who can keep it real.
and who knows the way,
the way i like to have it my way.
and i'm looking for someone who takes me there,
wants to share, shows he cares.
thinkin' you're the one that i've been waiting for.
is it you? is it you?
maybe you're the one i've been waiting for.
could you be the one for me?
could you be the one i need?
is it you? is it you?
maybe you're the one i've been waiting for.
could you be the one for me?
could you be the one i need?
i'm looking for someone to share my pain,
someone who i can run to,
who will stay with me when it rains.
someone who i can cry with through the night.
someone who i can trust whose heart is right.
and i'm looking for someone.
and i'm looking for someone who understands
how i feel, someone who can keep it real.
and who knows the way,
the way i like to have it my way.
and i'm looking for someone who takes me there,
wants to share, shows he cares.
thinkin' you're the one that i've been waiting for.
who won't take for granted how much i care,
appreciates that i'm there, someone who listens.
and someone i can call who isn't afraid of love to share.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
fuck you stalin, really.
i've decided not to gaf anymore.
your shit's ridiculous.
los alamitos was so bad. my dress & sticky bra came off, so i almost flashed everybody. i cried backstage for the longest time, haaaah. fuck, i don't wanna compete anymore. i'm so done with solitaire this year. dictators can suck my nonexistant dick.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
suddenly irritated though cuhs jonathan's playing shooting games & the sound's annoying the shit outta me. there's only one person i'll talk to right now but idk if he's awaaaake, dumbshit -___-
Friday, February 12, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
* i want to sit, talk, & cry my eyes out with you. i want to tell you my life story, even if it's not interesting at all cuhs i know you'll still listen. i love you - more than words can say.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
why am i letting this get to me when i thought i was weeks over it ?
why is it that whenever i still hear all this crap i get pissed ?
why can’t i just let go & let it be ?
why is this still a sensitive spot for me ?
* i hate that you probably know it’s you i’m talking about, but you’re in that state of denial where you’re just hoping it’s not you. or maybe you’re not hoping; you just have the mentality that it’s someone else. i hate that i can say all this isssh about you behind your back and/or on tumblr / blogger / myspace but i can never tell you straight to your face. let’s get one thing straight though: it’s not that i’m a pussy; it’s just the fact that i can’t bring myself to say all this stuff to you. like you won’t be able to handle it or something. oh, i don’t know — maybe you’re just as sensitive as me. you tell me to stop flirting with guys when you’re the one who needs to stop. at least i keep it one digit. you’re probably all the way in the three digit zones. i hate your stupid “way-of-life rule”: you flirt with guys who you know will like you, but you will never like them back. stupid girl, you’re gonna get nowhere.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
i have my trig final tomorrow & even though schaefer's letting us use a 3x5 notecard, he only said formulas. but i wrote down identities anyway & i have a gut feeling he's gonna trash my notecard and yell at me till i cry. ): i'm ridiculously paranoid & i know i should just make a new one overall, but DAYUM, i need those freaking identities. i just spent 20 minutes on the phone with agnes comparing the formulas we have on our's. i'm thinking of switching notecards in the middle of the final, but then again, i'm scared shitless of getting caught. he already thinks i'm a cheater cuhs of frickin' brandon. ): askufhvadobgwiaga. fml.
wednesday's spanish & history.
thursday's apchem & english.
oh, & i'm dropping ap chem. hopefully mrs. burns won't be such a bitch about it & try to persuade me to stay cuhs hail no, i can't fucking take goya's lack of teaching skills any longer.