10:58 PM

I had a dream you rang my doorbell & when I opened the door, you were at my doorstep holding a bouquet of tulips. You then picked off a petal & put it in your mouth to remind me of why you think tulips are stupid because people used to eat them, but I thought it was the cutest thing because even though you hate tulips, you went out of your way to get me a bouquet because they're my favorite. It was a really nice surprise & I was upset when I woke up because I knew it would be a while before anything of that sort happens.

2:29 AM

I know I've been a shit friend & I know that what I'm doing doesn't seem fair to you, but honestly, I can't help it. I don't understand why it's so hard for you to hit me up every once in a while & how easy it is for you to get so pissed because I already have plans. But I guess I owe it to you because if it weren't for you, I'd be completely fucked in the situation I'm in right now. As for the other thing, I don't think it's fair that you're telling me who I can & can't be friends with. I understand you're "looking out for me," but is that really what you're doing? You know I'm the type of person that needs to experience things for myself - whether it's failure or heartbreak or just shitty friendships/relationships. & I appreciate that you gave me a heads up, but in the end, doesn't it all come down to me? You can say your "I told you so"s later, but as for right now, I think I'm allowed to do what I want. Maybe I'm being selfish, or maybe you are, but I don't like where this is heading & I'm actually kinda terrified for the outcome.