10:16 PM

If there's one thing that pisses me off, it's being kept waiting. I'm a busy person, too. Sitting around waiting for you to finish whatever you're up to is not my ideal day during the summer. Especially when we had this planned for a while. I got out of bed early, I did my makeup & my hair, I got dressed, & I cancelled every other plan that I had for the day. I did all of that just so you can bail on me? I've been sitting in the same seat for more than 10 hours waiting for you. You wanted a boba date, I planned a boba date. Don't tell me you're full from dinner & you don't want to go out cuhs you feel janky. You had all damn day to get ready. And what else do you expect us to do if you don't want to go out where people will see you? Don't ever get pissed when I don't make time for you in the near future. I have done so much to hang out with you, only to have you flake the fuck out. UGH.

2:38 AM

• Channel Orange has been on repeat for the past week.
• High off life as of tonight! Blessed with fun people & good vibes.
• My summer's beginning to look up, not that it hasn't been great these past couple of weeks.
• I really want my Disneyland pass to be unblocked already.
• Castle Crashers will honestly never get old.
• FINALLY got my BDubs craving over with.
• The Dark Knight Rises midnight premiere this weeeeek!
• Extremely content. Thank you, Jesus.

1:04 AM

I don't understand you. You expect everyone to obey your every command - to alter their schedules to whenever you're free, to keep you as their #1 - when you don't ever do the same. You don't think about anyone but yourself when it comes down to it, yet you get annoyed the moment you realize people can & do have more fun without you. When will you learn the world doesn't revolve around you? How dare you expect me to just wait around for you, to just rot at home this summer until you finally have time to hang out with me? Yeah, I'm aware you're busy. But just cuhs you're busy doesn't mean I can't be either. I'm not replacing you with anyone. You know I'd still put anything aside for you if you ever need me. But til that time comes, I want to enjoy my summer just as much as you're enjoying your own. Who are you to tell me who I can & can't hang out with? You do you, & lemme do me. Thank you for listening to me through all my hard times & for keeping my secrets secrets. But it's not a one-sided friendship, cuhs I've done the same for you. I thought we'd be one of those pairs who don't always have to constantly be around each other, but I guess I thought wrong. Maybe if you'd lighten up a little on your attitude & the way you treat others, people would actually hit you up & want to hang out with you. If you wake up one day & you realize you have no one, just remember you were the one who brought this all upon yourself. Stop blaming others & start changing yourself before you throw your accusations around carelessly. Grow up. We're not in high school anymore.

3:26 AM

Hey there, blogspot. Haven't used you in a while.

I'm really annoyed with the amount of people that are on tumblr now. I feel like I can't make any personal posts & it's really annoying cuhs everyone's just all up in my face whenever I do. SoOoOoOo I finally remembered my password to blogspot & here I am!

Anyways, I woke up this morning with a gigantic headache & I realized I missed you more than ever. So much has changed between us in this past year & now that I look back at it, I feel like you & I are completely different people now. What I don't understand is how you still treat me like how you treated me then. How you decide to just vanish, & then out of nowhere, just come back as if nothing happened. I never understood how I always give in to it & how I never was able to just walk away from everything. I feel like you'll always have this grasp on me & that honestly terrifies me. I don't like belonging to people. The mere thought of being attached to someone makes me want to gag. I feel like no matter how many times I try to rebuild the walls I'm so used to, you'll always be the one who'll tear them down in less than a second. You're the only person who has had this type of influence on me & I feel like no matter where I run away from you, you'll always end up finding me. But eh, I guess there's really nothing to do but suck it up. I wasted enough time on you these past couple of years, with the result of absolute shit, but I guess I should be used to it by now, right?