Shit daaaay.

1. I can't stand all the talking during choir - the class or the practices. All the little murmurs & comments about every little fucking thing bugs the shit outta me & I just wanna slap everyone. I mean, I love my girls, don't get me wrong, but there are times where I just want to let them know what they signed up for. This is ADVANCED; we know wsup. We set the example & we shouldn't be known for talking all the damn time. I feel a Vanessa-speech comin' up. I swear to God, I'm gonna lay it on these girls.
2. A year ago from today, I was the happiest bitch alive. Best day of my life, pretty much. Sucks how I can't get it off my mind & it's been eating me all day. Funny how things can change in a year, isn't it ?
3. COLLEGE APPS. 'Nuff said. Shit takes waaay too long to finish. Senior Profile's due in two days & I'm still not done. And I have the fear that I'm not going to make it into any of the colleges that I'm applying for. Fuck it, I'm gonna drop outta high school & just marry rich.
4. SAT scores come out tonight. At 2 fucking AM. Who the hell sends out scores at 2 in the morning !? Ya dunce, kids should be asleep by then. -______________- All I'm asking for is higher than 1800. Please be good to meeee.
   
5. SAT2s next weekend. Haaaaaaaaaah, Literature & Spanish. I haven't studied at all for them & they're probably gonna eat me alive, tambien.
6. I'm still fucking pissed after what you did. I really don't understand why you do the things you do. Thanks for playing with my fucking heart, you idiot. It's a wonder why I still keep you close as fuck & have all these bipolar ass feelings toward you.
   

Oh, college.

You're such a bitch. -____- Actually, I guess it's my fault for stalling this whole time. Fuck, I really need to learn how to prioritize. I'm not even halfway done with my senior profile, I don't know what the fuck a Secondary School Report is, I don't know when all the deadlines for letters of rec are, & I don't know where to find my transcript online. Basically, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing & I'm starting to stress. Greaaaat, this shit WOULD come outta nowhere & slap me in the face now... when EVERYTHING'S about to be due.

And on top of that, shit's changed. Hahaha, I knew it was too good to be true. I can't deal with all this shit at the same time, so I'm done. For now, at least. I'll get back to you after all this college stress is done with. Cuhs for once in my life, I'm actually putting you aside & boy, does it feel buenoooo.

. . .

That was so sudden, it's scary. Like, it was the last thing I would ever think would happen right now. As much as I'm telling myself to be happy it happened, I can't help but feel a little bit guilty & sad. And I want to rush & shit, but I guess I should wait a little for the better, huh ? I donut know. At least now I don't feel as guilty when I'm talking to you. But can you please send better signals ? Cuhs they'd help a bunch.

CHRISTMASCHRISTMASCHRISTMAS.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAH, I'm so excited for Christmas ! ^______^
Making it a mission to put up my tree sometime this week ! I've already started playing Frank Sinatra's Christmas CD around the house & I have my own playlist on iTunes goin' on in case Jonathan decides to blast his stupid kpop. Heeeeehehehehe. & DISNEYLAND ! Apparently Eric Lin can get into Disneyland for free & he promised he'd take me & a buncha other people. HEHEHAHAHOHO. God, I'm so excited. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Branding Iron '10.

Branding Iron was pretty stupid. Screamed my ass off for no reason & ended up with a headache. I still can't believe Walnut won. But whatever, at least we have class. We don't need to stoop down to their pathetic little "Buck Frahmas" shirts. Haaah. Last football game of high school ! (:

Fearless - Taylor Swift.

And I don't know how it gets better than this;
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless.
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless.

Thoughts.

1. Based on a psychological study, a crush only lasts for a maximum of 4 months. If it exceeds, you are already in love. ← Hahahahahahahaha. Well then.
2. Looking through everyone's HC albums on Facebook had me QQ-ing all over the place. Yeah, I know. I'm pretty fucking pathetic. ): But whatever, at least I'm not suffering from sore thighs ! ^__^
3. SAT1s are over ! Yessss, I'm so happy. But I have Math 2C & Spanish in a month. Meh. I'm not trippin' yet. Watch it hit me super duper hard outta nowhere in a week.
4. I love nice, anonymous formspring-ers. The ones that tell me I'm beautiful or just little phrases of encouragement. They honestly make my shit days better & it really puts a smile on my face. I'd gotten so sick of all the perverted, immature ones & the change is nice !
5. I miss you. Haaaaaaaaaaah. It's almost been a year ! I went through all the pictures I got from people last year & I tried to avoid yours, but it stuck out like a white person in Chinatown. And I'm lowkey hoping you're the one writing cute shit on my FS, but then again, I highkey doubt it. Wompwomp. Please reappear into my life again. ):
6. Choir's going goudaaaa ! The talking still bugs the shit outta me, but the girls are starting to grow on me. Can I just say we're gonna be SUPERIOR this year ?! Fall concert was super bueno. Thanks to all the Marquis people that said we blended well & sounded strong. (:
7. I'm going on another nail polish diet. From next week to January ? But it'll probably be during competition season, too. So... maybe after May ? Oh, sweet Jesus. How will I survive. ):
8. Mad cravin' Boiling Crab's cajun fries. & Bdubs' chicken waaaaangs.
9. I can't believe you went to HC with her. HAHAHAHA. Even though you said you didn't have fun, I kinda think you did. Haaaaah, whatever ! I'm trying really hard to step back, but memories just keep flooding into my head, 'naw what I mean ? Shit sucks & I really wonder if I meant anything to you at one point.
10. Fuck all my AP classes up the butt. ): They take up so much time & I'm pretty much failing both classes. Asdfghjkl;' !
    

Homecoming.

Homecoming hype can SMD. -___- Forever alone, FTW. Though I lowkey wish someone asked, a night at home, bundled up while crying over Nicholas Sparks movies, eating out of tubs of ice cream & other fat foods sounds bueno. QQ. Hopefully prom'll turn out better.
PFFT, YEAH RIGHT. Who the hell am I tryna kid. -________-

Reality check.

It's nice to know who has my back & who doesn't. To know who my true best friends are & who aren't. To know who's worth my time & who isn't. (: All other dumbass pussies, SMH.