11:34 PM

Never gonna be as pretty as she is.

Never gonna be as talented as she is.

Never gonna be as "out there" as she is.

I get it - I'm not her. But is that the type of person you want? Are you seriously going to compare everyone, including me, to her? Some people walk out of our lives without apologizing & honestly, it's stupid & naive for you to think that she's different. She's not coming back; learn to let go. 

12:02 AM

It's amazing how a little bit of attention can get a girl goin'. Don't even know this boy & he's already calling out my name every time he sees me & poking fun at me. Why is it that girls always fall head over heels for douchebags/cockyass guys? Is it because they feel like they're not good enough for their attention & once they start receiving it, they feel "special"? It's ridiculous what girls will do for a speck of acknowledgement & how much they crave it.

9:09 PM

I'm all for being open with each other, but when you start going into my room without a) asking & b) me not being in there, it's kinda crossing the line. I don't care if people were downstairs & the master bedroom was being occupied. You have your own damn room. It's not my fault it's always so messy in there; maybe you should think of cleaning it before someone visits you. And for you to not clean up after yourself after it's been a whole weekend? Uh, no. You do not get to use my room without asking me, nor are you allowed to leave your shit in there. How do you think I'm gonna react when I come back & walk into a mess? You KNOW I hate messy things & that my room is my home away from home. How dare you invade my privacy like this. Don't give me that puppy dog bs, overusing your sorrys & stupid emoticons. Ugh.

11:35 PM

Spring quarter has finally begun! I'm actually really excited for this quarter because it means it's almost summer. On the real tho, the thought of summer makes me so ridiculously happy. I can't wait to be reunited with everyone & staying out late doing everything & anything. Nothin' but good vibes & good people. ^_^

Anyways, my schedule for this quarter's goes a littttttle late on Mondays & Wednesdays (I end at 6:30 PM) but the sun's still up by the time I'm out of class so it's all good! I don't have class on Fridays either so I guess it's more time for myself & God. I kinda gave up on doing devos this year after I missed a week so my walk with God has been a little off. But I've been blessed with housemates who continue to push me to read the Word & I've kinda picked it back up? I lovelovelove the book of Romans & I've also started reading Hosea. It's amazing reading about a man who obeys the Lord no matter what (ie: marrying a prostitute) & it really pushes me to become an obedient woman of God. I continue to forget God's on my side & have been taking my problems into my own hands but reading Hosea & Romans really put me back on track.

I came home this weekend because my grandma's leaving California & going back to Oklahoma with my aunt because there's no one here that can really take care of her & we decided to have one last dinner for her. I guess I was somewhat close to my grandma, but at the same time I regret not spending enough time with her. I never went out of my way to visit her & the only times we would see each other would be at family get-togethers like Thanksgiving & Christmas. The fact that tonight was probably the last time I'd ever see her is taking its time to hit me. This is the woman who always drove from Arcadia to Diamond Bar to babysit me when I was a kid, whose secret ingredient for delicious spaghetti was cut up hot dogs, & who sewed all my ripped clothes back up. I hate that it's taken me this long to realize how much of an impact she's had on my life & I hate that I'll never be able to thank her for everything she's done for me. Let this be a note to continuously thank the people who have made you into a better person & to spend as much as you can with them. 

Once again, I can NOT wait for the summer & for September!!! So excited for Boston (o: